“You will never glory in God till first of all God has killed your glorying in yourself.”
Self-glory is one of the greatest struggles for each one of us. It’s humbling to see again and again how full of myself I am. I think as Christians it’s easy to throw around phrases like “to God be the glory” or “praise God!” and not even think about the depth to what we're actually saying. We don’t always meditate on God’s majesty and greatness enough to really fill our hearts with wonder at the God we serve, and to bring us to humility. While I would never say this, I sometimes live as though I can tag Jesus on to my self-glorifying plans, instead of submitting my all to Him. I need a greater grasp on the truth that I will never glory in God until I am first empty of myself. God can't fill me while I'm already full of something else—myself.
I see God’s great mercy in Him hand-picking trials and circumstances to kill my pride and self-glory. The last thing I want to do in difficulty is search my heart to identify sinful attitudes and responses, but God gently prods and leads me to do so. My attempts at identifying and killing my sin often fall so short, yet again, His grace is great, and He works amidst my failures and inadequacies, showing me again that it's not about me or my successes, but His grace.
I don’t understand God’s ways or why He allows some things—but who can claim to? I know only the outskirts of His ways (Job 26:14). He is so far above me. I’m thankful everything He does is good, so I can wholeheartedly trust in Him.